Shop tax free in New York

The City and State of New York are providing shoppers with a week of sales tax-free shopping from August 31st through September 6th, 2004. Purchases of clothing and footwear (and items used to make and repair them) costing less than $110 are exempt from New York's 8.625% sales tax during this period.

For more information, please visit www.tax.state.ny.us.

Yes, but is it art?

I spent the weekend in New Haven, CT visiting my good friend HB who is a Dr.PH candidate at Yale (for those of you who are not in the know, that just stands for Doctorate of Public Health -- the PhD version of public health.)

We went to the Yale University Art Museum, where we mused whether or not the snow shovel leaning against the wall was an artwork. It was! It was called something like "Anticipating the Snowstorm - 1945." This was in fact a replica of a similar artwork from 1915.

Oddly enough, I think we all replicate that artwork every winter after we shovel the walk.

very sad

I was on the corner of 21st Street and Astoria Boulevard this morning, waiting to cross the street, when I noticed someone had written into the concrete when it was wet:

Leonard F.
1986 - 1994

That is truly tragic, no matter what the circumstances.

Jersey Bride Barbie

I went to the Macy's in Menlo Park Mall (NJ) last night. They had a bridal salon there (and everyone in it seemed blonde). That was the first time I have ever seen a bridal salon in a Macy's, but now that I think of it, I'll bet there's one in the flagship Macy's in Manhattan. I shall check it and see, since I want to go shopping anyway.

Next time Harold and Kumar should come here

... to Sassy Sliders!

In my never-ending quest to find cheap and delicious food I can eat quickly before my shift at the gym (because fo rsome reason people have an aversion to the fact that the staff at their gyms eat food), I tried Sassy Sliders on 3rd Avenue and E. 88th Street.

Sassy Sliders offers mini-hamburgers and turkey burgers for only 99 cents. They have ketchup, pickels and onions, and you can have them with or without cheese.

I had a mini-turkey burger. Writing about it makes me want another. The octopus sushi did not elicit the same response (see "We meet again, Octopussy!" August 20, 2004)

So much Clinique, so little time

I was on Madison Avenue between E. 59th and E. 60th at 10:30 am when I saw a woman walking down the street, heavily laden with lime-green Clinique tote bags full of cosmetics, skin care products, etc from the company. She had four such bags on each arm. What a great job!!!

The subway reaches new lows of grossness!

The Roosevelt Island rats had better watch out, because there is an even grosser creature on the rails today. On the R train, some middle-aged white guy just took his dick out of his shorts and started jacking off! Another lady and I just got out of that car and changed to the next one. I tried to find some way of contacting the conductor (I had memorized the number for the car that guy was in) but couldn't find one. Sorely lacking for a city known for its pervs!!!!!

My Big Fat Famous Bakery!

I was walking down Broadway (the Queens Broadway, not the Man Hurtin' Broadway) and passed Omonia Cafe. It turns out that they are also the bakery that made the wedding cake for the 2002 movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding".

Omonia Cafe
3220 Broadway
Astoria, NY 11106-2609
Phone: (718) 274-6650

Help Another School Even More

I went to the fundraiser dinner for my dad's organization Human development Foundation (www.yespakistan.com). I now am sponsoring the operation of a school in Pakistan for the next year. It costs almost nothing, relatively speaking.

So now when people bug me about the fact that I am still unmarried and have no kids, I will say "Au contraire! I have so many kids they fill an entire school!"

(Yes, I realize that I did not buy the actual kids. Free will and all that.)

We meet again, Octopussy!

Last night I decided to try a piece of sushi made up of octopus, or "tako sushi" as it is known. I went to Chinatown East on 2nd Avenue, which serves a mix of Chinese and Japanese cuisines.

I was interested in tasting this sea creature because they sell it in the fish markets in Astoria. Every day while I walk to the subway, I look into the windows of these shops so I can see the gelatinous glory that is the dead octopus. I also saw these in street markets in Paris and Barcelona. An international delight!!

So I got the sushi and noticed a few things:

1. When cooked, the gelatinous quality is replaced with a very dry one. However, the suction cups on the tentacles are still distinguishable.

2. When cooked, an octopus turns from grey-blue to bright red, much like a lobster!

3. It is best to close your eyes when putting it in your mouth.

4. Tastes like (rubbery) chicken.

Bon appetit!

Sidewalk art

There is a bike shop called Metro Bicycles at the corner of East 88th Street and Lexington Avenue. Look down at the sidewalk in front of its door. Someone had etched in the outline of a bicycle when the concrete was wet and let it dry.

Och aye II

The bagpiper returneth today. (See "Och, aye!" July 14, 2004).

The Queen of Queens vies for another queendom!

I have decided to enter the Miss Subways 2004 contest hosted by the New York Post. Miss Subways was a contest that ran from the 1940s through the 1970s and now is being resurrected. This is because the New York subway system is celebrating its Centennial.

The winner writes an essay on why she is proud to be a New Yorker, why she would be Miss Subways and why the subway is important to her. Then she wins free transportation for the year and a year's subscription to the New York Post.

This sale can't be beat!

I was in lower Manhattan around 12:30p today, and I saw a street vendor selling clothing on the sidewalk at the corner of Broadway and Chambers Street.

The sign over the clothing rack said "Wifebeaters. Two for $5".

Such an amazing dog!

On my way to the Y, I pass a bookstore called Bookbinders on Lexington Avenue and THE MOST AMAZING sheepdog is in there. S/he is huge and has matted fur all over, but especially in his/her face so you can't see any facial features except for a tongue. S/he looks like a giant muppet.

I can't help but think --- Wouldn't it be cool to have a dog like that?

We each paid $12 to do what King Kong did for free

But they did fly airplanes into King Kong so I guess it all evens out in the end.

JAO and I visited the top of the Empire State Building. I had not been there since New Year's Eve 1997 and JAO had never been at all. So we went, up, up and away!

The visibility was only supposed to be half-a-mile rather than the usual 25 miles, they announced downstairs to those of us in the ticket line, but we were undeterred. In fact, once we got all the way up to the observatory deck on the 86th floor, we could see quite a lot --- all the way to Coney Island, in fact! And the Statue of Liberty and all of lower Manhattan on one side. JAO successfully picked out the Flatiron Building.

We also could see the Chrysler Building, Penn Station, Central Park and well beyond into New Jersey and even Astoria (I was able to pick out the Queens Correctional Facility.) Now that's visibility!

Here are some facts on the Empire State Building:

On clear days visitors can see the surrounding countryside for distances up to 80 miles, looking into the neighboring states of New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Connecticut and Massachusetts, as well as New York.

It has 102 floors and was completed in 1931, ahead of schedule with 7 million man hours in a year and 45 days -- including weekends and holidays. It went up at a rate of 4.5 floors per week.

It is handicap-accessible.

The building is designed to serve as a lightning rod for the surrounding area and is struck by lightning about 100 times per year.


Send postcards from the Empire State Building, without actually being there!
http://esbnyc.e-printfactory.com/

Your Love is like a Roller Coaster, yes it is!

JAO and I decided to ride the Cyclone, Coney Island's roller coaster that has been in operation since 1927. Because that's what I look for in a roller coaster -- antiquity! In fact, the Cyclone has been on the National Register of Historic Places since 1991.

Not only that, but the Cyclone stands on the site that once contained the world's very first roller coaster, LaMarcus A. Thompson's Switchback Railway, as well as the world's first successful looping roller coaster, Loop The Loop. It is thus actually the 3rd roller coaster here, and it has been there for nearly 80 years.

The cyclone is indeed a chilling ride, which can be had for a mere $5! Constructed of wood (because knowing the materials are susceptible to splintering, dry rot and flame makes it all the more exciting), the Cyclone has 12 drops and 6 180-degree turns in this 1 minute, 50 second ride. In fact, the people who rode right before us came off with their hair blown straight up off their heads.

Frankly, I handle roller coasters better with my eyes closed. That still did not prevent me from emitting high-pitched screams (but no vomit.) Lucky for everyone else, as I was in the last seat. HA!

Check it out --someone from my hometown of Trenton, NJ set a world record riding the cyclone.
Take special note of his hair.
http://www.astroland.com/

Two for the price of none!

JAO and I were walking down the sidewalk of Coney Island when someone called out ”I know you want to win a teddy bear for this young lady!”

We saw a traditional game of chance found on boardwalks – burst the balloons on the board and win a small prize, almost always a stuffed animal. You could then risk your prize for the chance to win a larger one, and so on. Apparently, whoever wins the largest stuffed animal has the largest dick, or so the vendors would have you believe.

Anyhow, the vendor (I don’t want to call him a “carnie”, it seems too outdated) offered JAO the first dart for $5. He threw it and popped a balloon. The vendor asked me which of the small teddy bears I liked.

I actually liked none of them, but I did like the Clifford-esque red dog, and said so.

“Well, that’s the bigger prize,” he said. JAO bought another dart and won me the dog.

“Go for an even larger prize!” goaded the vendor. “Here, this one is on the house!”

I didn’t like any of the other prizes, but I did want to throw a dart. “Can I try?” I asked. “Since it’s on the house.”

The vendor conceded. I threw a limp-wristed throw which just managed to pop a balloon on the top of the board.

“Well, that was a very good throw, little lady! That was very ……. ” said the vendor. He was interrupted by another popping sound.

Apparently, my dart had not stuck into the wall after popping the balloon at the top of the board. It fell into and popped a balloon at the bottom of the board, too.

The vendor, JAO and I all had looks of surprise on our faces. No one had been expecting that!

“Uh, enjoy your dog!” said the vendor hurriedly, lest we claim another prize.

Satisfied with our unplanned dart-throwing experience, JAO, the stuffed dog and I bid the vendor “adieu” and went off to ride the roller coaster.

In memoriam: Julia Child

Renowned chef Julia Child passed away at the age of 91 today. When we were kids in the 1970s and early 1980s, my sister and I used to watch her show specifically to drool over the cakes she always baked for dessert to accompany each meal.

During World War II, Julia Child did clerical duties for the Office of Strategic Services, the forerunner to the CIA. In fact, her photo is in the International Spy Museum in Washington, DC as a celebrity in spying.

International Spy Museum
800 F Street, NW
Washington, DC 20004
www.spymuseum.org

All hail the Olympics!

The 2004 Summer Olympic Games started this lovely Friday the 13th in Athens, Greece.

A Supreme playground

Diana Ross has a playground named after her in Central Park! It is on the edge of the park near the American Museum of Natural History at 81st Street. All kinds of children play there, even the love child, never meant to be!

God help me!

I am on hold listening to Kenny G. It doesn't get much worse than this, hold-music-wise.

Check those typos!

I saw an ad for a medical research study for Mount Sinai hospital in today's New York "Metro" newspaper. To qualify, you must feel anxious or traumatized and as if "you are in great dander." Oh no, not great dander!! I have allergies!

The phantom of Lexington Avenue!

I almost got hit by a car yesterday. The really odd thing is, it had not driver.

I was crossing W. 88th Street at Lexington Ave yesterday evening when a parked car practically backed into me. Some giant minivan (a contradiction in terms, I know) was trying to wedge itself into the parking space in front of it and had backed into it so that the smaller car had jumped back a foot. Scared the crap out of me, I must say!

The non-Eminem 8 Mile

This morning, I went down to Union Square to sell my old books at The Strand, which is a famous New York bookstore known for having 8 miles of used, new, rare and out-of-print books. It began in 1927 and has been in the founder's family ever since.

One amazing thing about the place is they help out interior designers by figuring how many books are needed on a book shelf and they pick them out, and price them by the linear foot. You know how you go to Pottery Barn and there are old books on the new bookshelves? That sort of thing. When I worked retail at the Bombay Company in Washington, DC, I used to read the old books when there were no customers. I wonder if they came from Strand Books? The world may never know.

www.strandbooks.com

In memoriam: Fay Wray

I just read that Fay Wray died at the age of 96 in Manhattan last night. She played Ann Darrow, the girl in "King Kong" (1933) who gets carried to the top of the Empire State Building. She said in an interview that she likes to look at the building because she always felt that it "belonged to her, or is it the other way around?" I think it might have been both!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0024216/

Lifesavers explanation

Why the bride-to-be wears a T-shirt with Lifesaver candies on it:

The concept is called "Suck for a Buck" -- guys pay her a dollar to eat a candy off her shirt.

See how much you four readers are learning about American culture from this blog? You are doing proud the founders of National Self-Improvement Month.

There's a full moon out tonight!

Everyone going out to the bachelorette party after the bridal shower gathered at Germano's Trattoria in Baltimore's Little Italy for dinner. Then the bride-to-be went and got dressed in her bachelorette gear before we went to the clubs. For those unfamiliar with this, the bride-to-be wears a little bridal veil, and a T-shirt with lifesaver candies all over it and sometimes reproductions of male "nether regions". My friend got to wear a necklace of these reproductions.

So we went out to the sidewalk to start walking to our hotel before going out, when a horse-drawn carriage went by. "Hey!" yelled one of the passengers. "It's another bachelorette party!" So we look into the carriage and a similarly decked-out drunk girl is in there. They cheer at us and we cheer them back.

Then their bachelorette inexplicably started mooning us!!! Her butt was so big and -- worse -- bedecked in an unflattering thong!

One good turn deserves another, so I ran out into the street and pulled up my skirt and mooned them back. By sheer coincidence, my friends later pointed out, my underwear was the same color as my dress.

We started walking away. Some valets across the street yelled, "Uh, I missed that! Can you do it again?"

"Next show is tomorrow night!" I told them.

National Self-Improvement Month

I read that August is National Self-Improvement Month. Now that you know that, you have just improved your knowledge base. Well done.

Quit while you are ahead

And back down to the subway we go!!!

It was 10:50 pm last night at Lexington - 59th Street station (where all the action is) waiting for the N or W train when two guys started playing a very nice song with an acoustic guitar and a violin. The violin was an especially nice touch. I took violin lessons for 5 years in elementary school and was not terribly wondrous at it, so I have an appreciation for anyone who plays it well.

Apparently I was not the only one, as the instrumental music drew a lot of the crowd closer. So music DOES soothe the savage beast!

But then the guys ruined it by opening their mouths and, um, "singing". For people so musically gifted on their instruments, they could not carry a tune in a bucket! The crowd backed away. People wore expressions like Ricky Ricardo's when he discovered Lucy had crashed his show at the Tropicana nightclub and was now screeching like a crow.

Fortunately, the train then arrived and we all escaped to our destinations.

Maybe it's a good thing ...

... that I went tombstone shopping last week (See "A Little Shopping on my Lunch Hour", July 28, 2004).

Less than 2 billion seconds to go ...

.... and I waste so many of them typing this blog. I am predicted to die on Thursday, January 17, 2069. Good -- I hate Thursdays. Like today, this particular Thursday when I learned when I am expected to die!

www.deathclock.com calculates how long you have left to live based on your date of birth, gender, BMI, smoking status, and outlook on life. You should check it whenever you are having a great day just to put things in perspective.

I wonder who wasted seconds of their lives inventing the deathclock? Oh well! As the tagline for HBO's "Six Feet Under" says, "Every day above ground is a good one!"

Shopping is hard work

I have less than a day to come up with a bridal shower gift (I am going to a good friend's bridal shower in Baltimore, so time spent getting there does not count as time I could spend shopping.) This mission required returning to the dreaded mall on my lunch hour.

There is absolutely nothing there I could buy her. I went to that Things Remembered shop where I could get her and her fiancee's names engraved on any number of useless and shockingly silver items. That store nearly blinded me with all the light bouncing off all the silver. Oh, and I am pretty sure she doesn't like silver knickknacks cluttering up her house.

The only other options were going to either Victoria's Secret Beauty (there is no regular Victoria's Secret shop in that mall yet) or Bath & Body Works and get her lotions and potions. That always strikes me as a terrible gift to give, it's like saying "I couldn't help but notice that you looked dirty and smelled bad, so as a favor to the rest of us, please use this gift!" It would be especially bad to get her the anti-cellulite travel pack named "Bringing Up The Rear". I wouldn't want to get that gift myself, I would have a complex that my friends had been checking out my rear and being so traumatized that they buy me this gift.

So we shall see what I come up with by tomorrow. People told me you are not supposed to get stuff off the registry for a bridal shower but hey -- at least I know it's something she wants! All hail registries and www.weddingchannel.com!

Obey thy Postcard, Part Deux

So I went to my interview with Social Circles (see "Obey Thy Postcard", July 19, 2004) so they could ensure that I am sane before allowing me to join.

Actually, it is more to discuss what I am looking for and the different pricing options. It is not a dating service, which everyone whom I have told assumes it is, but more an automated social planner that has different athletic, culinary and cultural events every single day, and you can go to as many as you want. They even have an international trip each year; this year is to Rio de Janeiro. (However, been there, done that so I am going to Puerto Rico instead!)

What was really coincidental is the guy who interviewed me actually knew someone with whom I went to high school. This is even more coincidental considering that there were only 13 people in my graduating class.

Links to London blog

I love London -- too right! I have been there 3 times, most notably for 6 months when I lived with my aunt and uncle in Surrey County while I went to college in downtown London.

The coursework included trips to the Houses of Parliament, 7 theater shows (marred by the fact that we would then have to write papers on the play) as well as walks through different neighborhoods as we learned the history (immortalized in the professor, Sir Richard Tames' book "A Traveller's History of London" -- BTW: he misspelled the word "traveler" in his title, not me.) We also went to Stonehenge, Warwick Castle, Stratford-Upon-Avon, Bath and Brussels, Belgium to visit NATO Headquarters.

This website includes a link at the bottom to a London blog.
http://www.londontourist.org/

And two other great links:
http://visitlondon.com/
www.londontown.com

No mixed-messages here

On my way to and from the mall on the emergency shoe-shopping mission (which was very successful), in unrelated instances, I saw two random girls with T-shirts alluding to their dating and sexual status.

The first girl had "WHAT boyfriend?!" on her T-shirt.

The second had "My boyfriend thinks he was the first" written on hers.

Gross. I do my best never to wear T-shirts with words on it anyway (and especially not with logos -- why provide free advertising, especially if, as in the case of the chain store Bebe, the T-shirt with the logo is the only thing I can realistically afford there?) But this is just a terrible degrading trend that I hope ends soon. Or stays in this two-block radius of Queens. Ugh.

I KNEW there was a reason I never go to that mall!

These shoes ain't made for walking (anymore)

My favorite summer sandals broke (probably from overuse) while at work today so I had to go buy a new pair at the mall down the street. I have been pretty good at never going into that mall during my three months of working next to it, but today I had to. Luckily, as it is August, all summer sandals are on sale and I got mine dirt cheap! Now if that isn't cause for celebration, I don't know WHAT is!!!

Before you four readers rolls your eyes ---- take heart that this post has nothing to do with the subway.

A trip on the dark side

Seriously, maybe I should start calling this blog “Subway Stories” because about half of the posts take place there. At any rate, here is another one.

Yesterday around 5:30pm, I was on the 6 train uptown when the lights on the subway car went out between the 59th Street –Lexington and 77th Street stations.

Somebody started singing a song in the dark:

Turn the lights down low!
Turn the lights down looooooow!
Turn the lights down low!
And let’s get it on!

Then he said “Just kidding, folks! But seriously, I have two guns in my sneakers and when I take them out, everyone here is going to jump up off the floor, including me! In fact, I’ll be the first one! Just kidding!”

(I frankly don’t think threats on a dark subway to a captive audience are all that funny.)

The lights went back on and there was a man with his right side obviously paralyzed. He said,

“Ladies and gentlemen, I am homeless and I suffered a stroke down my right side, I am also blind in my right eye. I hope and pray that you all have homes to go to. As for me, my home is a cardboard box on FDR Drive. I hope it’s still there when I get back, or I will file a lawsuit against the city for destruction of property!”

People started to laugh and give him money. I gave him a silver dollar myself, even though I don’t think I should pay someone to threaten me, but the guy was so obviously suffering from a stroke that I believed him.

“Hey!” he yelled. “Can somebody give me $50 for a radio for my cardboard box? I think I can hook it up in there if I have about 100 extension cords!”

At this point, we had reached the next station, and he left the train, yelling at us all to “Have a blessed day!”

Who's running again?

In Astoria, at the corner of Broadway and Steinway Street, hangs a campaign banner that looks brand-new but couldn't possibly be:

DOLE/KEMP '96

It hangs on top of a pub whose name I don't know, because the sign with the pub's name on it has fallen apart and the owner apparently doesn't see the need to keep THAT sign in good condition. He must be one hard-core Republican, or really want Bob Dole to win, if only he could get the flux capacitor on the DeLorean to work right!

Date within your party

I just read this in today's NYTimes ... there are dating websites geared towards shared political views. Here they are:

www.loveinwar.com
www.singlerepublican.com (yes, you read that right)
www.conservativematch.com

and the article also had one for religion:
www.catholicmatch.com

Happy, um, voting!

And the Cheap Poseur Jerk Award goes to ....

This guy from craigslist!!!!

Quick Easy Money

Here's the deal I need someone to watch my Hummer while I have dinner with my fiance at Tavern on the Green. All you have to do is watch it make SURE NO ONE TOUCHES IT. This went well last time i tried it. Must wear a tuxedo as you will be opening the door for my fiance. Must be clean cut. Should only be a few hours, your total compensation will be 7 dollars. Thats seven bucks for just sitting there. Reply with your contact # and three sentences why you feel you could handle this. Last time i did this I got so many reply's, so it may take me awhile to reach you.

Astoria: Why doesn't he pay for the tux rental if he is so concerned with impressing his stupid spoiled fiancee (this is the proper spelling, by the way)? And the $7 for "just sitting there"? Not even comparable to the price of valet parking (which, in essence, is also "just sitting there") near Central Park. What a pretentious jerk.

Elvis has left the building ....

... and now he is out in Times Square.

There were actually two Elvises (or is the plural Elvi??) One bore a striking resemblance to Jimmy Walker of "Good Times" and the other to many of the cast members of "Grease". They were in big black pompadours, sunglasses and satin jumpsuits, handing out free issues of "Metro", this little daily newspaper.

The really odd thing is, i had alredy read today's Metro at that point and there was not even one story alluding to Elvis (except perhaps that his third ex-son-in-law Nicolas Cage just married a 20-year-old. But you really have to look to find that connection.)

Best in Show

I visited my pet rabbit at my brother's today. George (my rabbit) is staying there for the summer as my brother has air conditioning and I don't. I leave my house for work during the hottest part of the day and therefore can have some AC for myself, but George is unemployed and has no such options. Hence he stays in NJ.

George is a chocolate Dutch Rabbit, and is technically a show rabbit, except he is so dirty and ornery that he probably would not last very long in a rabbit show. He is like Pigpen from the Peanuts comic strip --- within seconds of getting a bath, dirt surrounds him like a magnet. Which is too bad -- maybe if he won a rabbit show, I could use the prize money to replace everything of mine that he has destroyed over the last 8 years.

Here are photos of Dutch rabbits: www.dutchrabbit.com

Enjoy!